into the wild

Tonight I took some time and hovered over L’il E’s crib as he snored away. I looked on as he lay there so heavy and tired after a very busy weekend outdoors and wondered where the time has gone. When did he turn into the crazy, babbling and busy toddler that he is today? It feels like just yesterday he was tiny and nestled in my arms. I do this many nights, but tonight is different because tomorrow is his first day of “school”.

His backpack is packed, his clothes are all Mable labeled and despite telling him almost every day for the last month, he has no idea what tomorrow holds. Just thinking that, makes my stomach drop.

I know he’s going to be upset when we leave him and I know he’s totally going to be okay within five minutes of our drop-off – I just want him to have fun and make friends.

This is his opportunity to become independent and fend for himself, but as his mother I fear his failure. I worry that he’ll be too shy, or kids will be mean to him, I worry he’ll feel lonely or he’ll get frustrated trying to complete a task. BUT I can’t be there forever, all day, every day. I can’t swoop in and save the day for the rest of his life. He needs to figure out who L’il E is and make his own decisions and have his own opinions and have fun doing it. I know he is still small and I shouldn’t be worrying like this, but this milestone is one that will begin the creation of his little social life and it’s a tough world out there.

Best of luck to my E bear. Remember to share.



Alanna Banks

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